The Onion has a mash on its hands, reports Jimmy Crook, FBC News’s Scotland editor.
It seems that a heated debate has erupted amongst the members of the Onion over the proper way to eat a burrito. Some argue that it should be eaten with a fork and knife, while others insist that “real men” eat it with their bare hands.
“We’ve got a real burrito battle brewing here,” said Onion member Bob Johnson. “I mean, who eats a burrito with a fork and knife? Might as well eat a taco salad.”
But not everyone agrees. “I don’t care how manly you think you are, no one wants to see you stuffing your face like a slob,” said fellow Onion member Susan Smith. “I say, use utensils like a civilized human being.”
The debate has reportedly gotten so heated that the Onion is considering hiring a professional mediator to help resolve the issue.
“It’s an important enough issue that we want to make sure we get it right,” said Onion spokesperson Bill Thompson. “We don’t want anyone to feel like they’re being disrespected over burrito etiquette.”
In the meantime, members of the Onion are urged to keep their passions in check and to remember that at the end of the day, it’s just a burrito.
