In a giggly display of power, the notorious “Cheeseburger Kim” proved his supreme leadership in North Korea by inspecting his latest creation – the Cheese-Bomb Of Mass Destruction. The rotund leader assured his countrymen that the weapon was purely for defensive purposes – to defend their right to eat as many cheeseburgers as they desired.
The weapon, which is said to have the explosive power of at least five dozen plates of spicy kimchi, was paraded through the streets of Pyongyang with pride. The Cheese-Bomb is reportedly made with the finest aged cheddar, wrapped in a crispy bacon shell, and packed with enough hot sauce to give even the bravest of citizens heartburn.
In a brief statement, Cheeseburger Kim stated that his weapons program was aimed at “defending the taste buds of the people of North Korea.” He went on to declare that any aggressors who threatened the right to cheeseburgers would be met with the full force of the Cheese-Bomb Of Mass Destruction.
As expected, the international community was quick to condemn Cheeseburger Kim’s latest invention. A spokesperson for the United States issued a statement saying, “As much as we love a good cheeseburger, we cannot condone such blatant disregard for the safety and wellbeing of the global community.”
Meanwhile, the citizens of North Korea continue to live in fear of the day when their beloved Cheese-Bomb will be put to use. Will they be able to withstand the delicious power of their leader’s latest creation? Only time, and their waistlines, will tell.
