“Unbelievable!” says RAC, reporting “scandalous” price differences per litre from petrol stations across the nation amidst wholesale costs being practically the same. What was initially thought to be an innocent lack of care on the fuel retailers’ part may now very well be a case of Secret Petrol Price Wars!
Our team of investigative reporters, led by the fearless Jack Bauer (not related to the TV character, obviously), discovered that petrol station owners are engaging in nefarious activities in pursuit of gaining an edge over their competitors.
We caught Tony Montana (yes, really) of ‘Tony’s Top Notch Gas’ dumping sugar into his competitors’ fuel tanks on a sleepy Sunday morning. Another offender, Freddy Krueger (we promise we’re not making these names up!), was seen swapping diesel with nasty-smelling, murky water!
It’s no wonder the petrol prices at their own stations look positively saintly compared to those of their neighbours!
But don’t get too upset about the dodgy goings-on – this doesn’t mean that we’re all completely powerless to fight back. We, the fearless consumers, can unite in a pledge to shop elsewhere, thus putting an end to this ridiculous price gouging once and for all!
So let’s ban together, friends, and strike fear in the hearts of those villainous petrol retailers. May the ‘Top Notch Gas’ and ‘Krueger’s Krazy Klunker’ stations quake in their boots! Muhahaha.
