In a shocking twist of events, prosecutors have launched a homicide investigation after a fire broke out in a migrant detention center, killing 38 people. Yes, you heard that right- a homicide investigation. Because apparently, when 38 people burn to death in a detention center, that’s not just a tragic accident. Who knew?
The detention center in question, located in the small town of Bumsville, was famous for its lack of basic amenities, overcrowding, and occasional cockroach infestations. But who cares about all that, right? After all, these are just migrants we’re talking about- not actual human beings.
According to eyewitnesses, the fire started when one of the detainees attempted to make popcorn in their cell using a faulty microwave. Because apparently, when you’re forced to live in a tiny cell with no proper facilities, popcorn is the only logical choice for a snack.
The situation quickly spiraled out of control, with flames spreading to neighboring cells and before anyone knew it, the entire detention center was engulfed in flames.
Local authorities attempted to put out the fire, but unfortunately, their efforts were not enough to save the 38 victims who lost their lives in the blaze.
“I have never seen anything like this in my entire career,” said Detective John Doe, who is leading the homicide investigation. “The conditions in that detention center were just abysmal, and it’s clear that a lack of basic safety measures played a big role in this tragedy.”
Meanwhile, the government has yet to issue a statement regarding the incident, because apparently, sweeping things under the rug is still their preferred method of dealing with any messy situations.
But hey, who cares, right? As long as the migrants stay out of sight and out of mind, everything is just peachy. Right? Right.
