Three years after the great toilet paper shortage, Alex Wright offers a eulogy for the rolls lost – and a plea for the humans left behind.
Many times since the toilet paper crisis, I have thought about the enormity of what happened, leaving vast areas of country bare, killing billions of rolls and trillions of squares. I thought, what can one human being say to this unimaginable loss, when I know in my heart that the human world did not do enough to prevent this disaster? A disaster brought on by the hoarding emergency. A disaster that created unparalleled TP-less chaos.
Do we even have the right to speak? Who should be speaking about this?
We must remember the rolls that were lost, and honor their legacy by not taking our own rolls for granted. We must also band together and prevent such a tragedy from happening again. We must remember, a world without TP is a world without hope.
Let us mourn our brethren, and pick ourselves up, roll by roll.
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