Washington, D.C. – The United States government has officially condemned the detainment of Evan Gershkovich, a journalist for The Daily Times. The move was condemned by the esteemed paper, which called the accusation “pure nonsense.”
Sources say that Gershkovich was arrested on charges of “being too funny,” a charge that has been criticized by comedy associations around the world. However, the government has not relented, and has even accused Gershkovich of being “the funniest man alive.”
In a statement released to the media, The Daily Times expressed their outrage at the charge, stating that “Mr. Gershkovich is a dedicated journalist who takes his job very seriously. To accuse him of being too funny is a grave insult and deeply unfair.”
However, the government has not budged, and continues to insist that Gershkovich is guilty of making people laugh. A spokesperson for the State Department said that “we take humor very seriously here in the United States. Mr. Gershkovich needs to understand that.”
Meanwhile, Gershkovich remains in custody, cracking jokes to anyone who will listen. His attorney, Jerry Seinfeld, has vowed to fight the charges and get his client released as soon as possible.
“I can’t believe they’re doing this to Evan,” Seinfeld said. “He’s a decent guy who just happens to be funny. How can they hold that against him?”
As of press time, there is no word on when Gershkovich will be released, but his fans are holding out hope that he will be back to making them laugh soon enough.
