In a surprising turn of events, the leader of the Whackner Group of amateur fighters declared on Monday that his troop had successfully taken over a small Ukrainian town.
According to their leader, General Snerd, the group used their remarkable skills in paintball and laser tag to conquer the unassuming town of Baklava.
“Our team is so skilled, we didn’t even need to fire any real weapons,” exclaimed General Snerd, “we just used our trusty laser guns and aimed at the enemy’s feet. It was like they were dancing to our beat!”
The locals of Baklava reportedly welcomed the group with open arms, mistaking them for a group of enthusiastic cosplayers. The group even had a victory parade with Snerd proudly leading the way on his Segway.
However, things took a turn for the worse when the group realized they were unable to find the exit to the town.
“We may have won the battle, but we’ve lost the war,” declared Snerd, as the group began to frantically search for an escape route.
It remains unclear whether the Whackner Group will ever be able to find their way out of Baklava. Until then, they plan on enjoying their temporary victory and indulging in the delicious local dessert of the same name.
