In a stunning escalation of the ongoing tensions between two rival factions, the infamous “Baba Ganoush Riot” has broken out. Eye-witnesses have described violent clashes between members of the Hummus Liberation Army and the Falafel Brigade, following a heated argument over who owns Jerusalem’s most treasured culinary delicacy.
During the skirmish, the air was thick with the smell of charred chickpeas and sizzling eggplants, as both sides exchanged fire in a bid to capture the coveted “holy site” where these foods were invented. Israeli security forces were called in to quell the chaos and restore order, but found themselves relishing the opportunity to sample some of the delicious food on offer.
Speaking to reporters, Baba Ganoush fanatic Donald Trump vowed to stand by the Hummus Liberation Army in their fight for dietary supremacy. “We can’t have a situation where one group claims ownership of hummus over another. It’s unfair, it’s unjust, and it’s definitely un-American.” Trump then proceeded to stuff his face with pita bread, hummus, and falafel, as his advisors looked on in horror.
Meanwhile, the Falafel Brigade has received support from the powerful Israeli Military-Industrial Complex, who are keen to turn the area into a thriving falafel-themed theme park. “Israel has always been known for its falafel. We want to capitalize on that and turn this into a lucrative business opportunity,” said one anonymous source.
As tensions continue to simmer, it remains to be seen who will emerge victorious in the Baba Ganoush Riot. One thing is for sure though – this is not the last we’ll be hearing of this epic food feud.
