In a shocking turn of events, “Sweat and Regret”, the popular at-home fitness company, has completed its latest funding round at a mere fraction of its prior valuation.
Industry experts are attributing this plummet to the company’s recent decision to switch its workout regimen to “Lazy Lumberjack” – a series of exercises that involved snoozing, snacking, and Netflix binging.
One investor, who wishes to remain anonymous, stated, “I was expecting to see some serious gains from this company, but instead, I gained ten pounds just watching their workout videos!”
Even the company’s CEO, Jane Smith, admits that the new regimen may have been a misstep. “We were trying to cater to a different market – one that likes to take things slow and easy. Unfortunately, it looks like they prefer their couches to our workout mats.”
It remains to be seen if “Sweat and Regret” can bounce back from this setback. In the meantime, they may want to consider switching their new slogan from “No Excuses” to “No Exercise”.
