Local businessman Dale Timber’s total compensation includes a carton of expired milk and a participation trophy from his company’s annual poker tournament.
“I couldn’t believe my luck when they told me I won the participation trophy,” Timber said with a chuckle. “It’s almost as good as winning a real award, right?”
To add insult to injury, Timber’s colleagues also gifted him a carton of milk that expired two months ago.
“I mean, I appreciate the gesture,” Timber said. “But I think I’ll stick to buying my own milk from now on.”
When asked about Timber’s compensation compared to Darren Woods’s multi-million dollar package, his employer stated, “We believe in rewarding our employees based on their actual contributions to the company, not just seniority or title. And, well, let’s just say Dale’s contributions have been…memorable.”
