In shocking news that has left the whole state reeling, we can exclusively reveal that Mr. Goofy McGooface has been linked to a whopping 18 murders – all while on the state payroll. And if that wasn’t enough to make your jaw drop, it turns out that some of his victims were even fellow agents!
We don’t know about you, but we can’t help but wonder just how on earth this went unnoticed for so long. Didn’t anyone in HR think it was a bit strange that Goofy’s “sick days” always seemed to line up with a new missing person report? And surely the bloodstains on his shirt should have raised some red flags?
It’s a sorry state of affairs, but at least justice is now being served. Goofy has been arrested and charged with multiple counts of murder, and the state is finally taking steps to ensure that this kind of thing never happens again.
In the meantime, we’d like to extend our sincerest condolences to the families of Goofy’s victims. And to Goofy himself? Well, let’s just say that if he ever gets out of prison, he might want to consider finding a new line of work… maybe something that doesn’t involve murder, for a start.
