In a shocking twist of events, the Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the popular drug mifepristone, colloquially known as the “abortion pill.” In a temporary injunction, the highest court in the land has prevented lower courts from limiting access to the drug, saving the day for anyone who enjoys a little chemical intervention now and then.
The emergency request came from the Biden administration, which apparently sees fit to ensure that men and women everywhere have access to this wonder drug. We can only imagine the conversation that led up to this decision.
Biden: “Listen, fellas. We gotta keep this mifepristone stuff on the market, you know what I’m saying?”
Supreme Court: “Uh, Joe? We’re not exactly sure what you mean.”
Biden: “I mean, if you wanna take care of business in the privacy of your own home, you should be able to, right?”
Supreme Court: “Uh, sure. That’s not really our jurisdiction, but okay.”
And so the Supreme Court has saved the day for anyone who needs a little chemical boost to get things done. We can only hope that this ruling inspires other drugs to come out of the woodwork, so to speak.
Perhaps we’ll see a new wave of “Get Your Freak On” pills, or “Can’t Stop Won’t Stop” pills. Who knows what the future holds? All we know is, the Supreme Court has our backs (and our bellies).
