In a surprising twist, two top executives of the media company, “Faux News,” have announced their departure amidst ongoing challenges. Chief Revenue Officer, Mr. Cabbage Patch and Chief Operating Officer, Ms. Bonkers, have both decided to pack up their desks and leave the company.
Sources say that Mr. Cabbage Patch was seen performing a celebratory dance in the office before he announced his departure. It is rumored that he has landed a role in a broadway musical and will be playing the lead role of a vegetable salesman.
On the other hand, Ms. Bonkers was seen crying in the restroom before she called an Uber to pick her up. Rumor has it that she’s planning to start her own startup, which allows people to pay to watch her throw tantrums on camera.
Their departure may come as a shock to many, but insiders reveal that it may have been the lack of comradery between the two executives that caused their downfall. Apparently, Mr. Cabbage Patch was always trying to push more ads, while Ms. Bonkers was always trying to cut costs. It seems like they couldn’t come to an agreement on anything.
In the face of this adversity, “Faux News” promises to keep churning out the same quality content that they’re known for- fake news. Who needs executives when you have propaganda, amirite?
