In a shocking revelation, a new report by Spencer Stuart has debunked the myth that CMOs at Fortune 500 companies are the first to be shown the door. This report has shattered the long-held belief that marketing chiefs are more disposable than their C-suite compatriots.
According to the report, CMOs last just as long as other executives – which means they can enjoy a few solid years of making cringe-worthy ad campaigns and plastering their face on billboards before they get the boot.
In a statement to the press, CEO of Spencer Stuart, Harry Potter (not to be confused with the fictional wizard), explained that “This report shows that CMOs have been unfairly maligned for far too long. They deserve recognition for their hard work and dedication to making mediocre ad campaigns that no one cares about.”
CMOs across the country were elated by this news. “Finally, our time in the spotlight has come. We can now hold our heads high knowing that we’re no longer the scapegoats for every failed marketing campaign,” said Sally Johnson, CMO of Snuggie.
While this report may have brought joy to marketing executives, it has also caused concern for other C-suite executives. “Wait, does this mean we’re more disposable than CMOs? This is a nightmare,” said Tim Cook, CEO of Apple.
The Spencer Stuart report has certainly turned the tables on the age-old assumption that CMOs are the first to go. “I guess we’ll have to find someone else to blame for our companies’ failures now,” said Craig Robinson, CFO of Pepsi.
It looks like CMOs will now be able to relish in the irony of their department’s name for a little while longer – as they continue to prove that marketing can be far from a science.
