In a stunning turn of events, Mr. Simon of Schmorfman’s Bank has announced that he has used the bank’s vast supply of Monopoly money to acquire the struggling monopoly board game industry from smaller competitors.
Simon reportedly got wind of Hasbro’s financial troubles and pounced on the opportunity to snatch up the beloved board game maker. “I’ve always been a fan of Monopoly,” says Simon, “so when I heard Hasbro was in financial trouble, I just had to jump in and save the day.”
With the acquisition of the Monopoly game, Schmorfman’s Bank has solidified its position as the top Monopoly supplier in the country. “We were already the leading bank in the Monopoly world, so this just cements our position,” says Simon.
Smaller banks and game makers, however, are crying foul, accusing Schmorfman’s Bank of monopolizing the Monopoly market and driving them out of business. “It’s just not right,” says a representative from Parker Brothers, one of the smaller game makers who was outbid by Schmorfman’s Bank. “We’ve been making Monopoly for generations, and now we’re going to be crushed by this big, bad bank.”
But Simon isn’t worried about the backlash. “Hey, it’s just business,” he shrugs. “And besides, it’s not like we’re going to start charging for Monopoly money or anything crazy like that.”
The future of the Monopoly game and its iconic pieces remains uncertain, but one thing is for sure – Mr. Simon of Schmorfman’s Bank is now the Monopoly kingpin, and there’s no stopping him.
