In a shocking new report, the Association of British Grocers, or ABG for short, has declared that the cost of a weekly shop in the UK is about to get easier on the wallet. Yes, you heard it right folks – your weekly grocery haul is about to get a whole lot cheaper!
According to ABG spokesperson, Mr. Gobbles, this sudden drop in grocery prices is due to a new initiative being undertaken by supermarkets all across the country. Apparently, they’ve decided to replace all their stock with “Edible Air” – a revolutionary new product that is made entirely of, well, air. “It’s the perfect compromise,” says Mr. Gobbles. “It’s everything you want in a food product – it’s low-calorie, low-fat, and most importantly, it’s cheap!”
The move to ‘Edible Air’ has been applauded by many, including leading health experts who claim that this new product will help the nation tackle obesity rates. “It’s a no-brainer,” says nutritional guru, Dr. Slim. “It’s time we stopped stuffing our faces with unhealthy junk and started consuming something more nutritious, like air!”
For some, however, the idea of switching to ‘Edible Air’ is a hard pill to swallow. “What’s next, air burgers?” asks local shopper, Mrs. Buns. “I mean, it’s just ridiculous. I don’t want to pay good money for something that doesn’t even exist!” Others, like Mr. Chips, are more positive. “I can’t wait to see what other weird and wonderful products they come up with next. Maybe we’ll be eating sunshine by next year!”
So there you have it folks – your weekly shopping bill is about to get a whole lot cheaper. Just remember to bring your own bag, because there’s no telling what ‘Edible Air’ might do to those pesky plastic ones. Bon appétit!
