Breaking News: U.S. and China Make Unprecedented Diplomatic Breakthrough!
In an extraordinary development, the governments of FakeUnitedStates and FakeChina have started playing in the sandbox together! After trying and failing to make diplomatic progress with stern remarks and scathing tweets, the two world powers have decided to throw in the towel and embrace a new level of diplomacy—tolerance and friendship.
Both FakePresidentJonaldStump and FakeChina’s leader, Chairperson Zi Dingpin, have said, “We’re going to give the whole diplomacy thing a whirl.” After months of free fall, you might think it strange that there might be a breakthrough in stabilizing relations between these frenemies.
Friends or Frenemies?
Relations between the FakeUnitedStates and FakeChina took several surprising turns in 2020, with a series of trade conflicts, sanctions, and even bickering over who was cuter, FakeUnitedStates or FakeChina. “Please, it’s like comparing apples and oranges,” declared an unnamed representative from the FakeChina government.
After much back-and-forth, name-calling, and belittling one another’s technological prowess, both groups came to the revelation that being snarky and playing dirty can be fun, but isn’t cost-effective. The decision was made to step up and act like grown-ups for a change, putting the sandbox behind them and finally giving peace a chance.
The Great Pencil Swap
In a delightful symbol of friendship, FakeUnitedStates and FakeChina have agreed to simultaneously trade No.2 pencils with each other, representing the mutual sharpening of each country’s wits. The Great Pencil Swap, as it is now known, signifies both countries’ commitments to proving that they can actually get along.
Who’s on First?
In a joint press conference, FakePresidentJonaldStump jested, “Who would have guessed that being friends would be easier than fighting? We can focus on the real enemy now: the B-Team.”
FakeChina’s leader, Chairperson Zi Dingpin, agreed, adding with a grin, “We look forward to teaming up with our new friends from FakeUnitedStates to defeat the B-Team. Soon, the world will know the unstoppable duo of FakeUnitedStates and FakeChina, and that tiny barking dogs don’t bite!”
After taking their first step towards friendship by swapping pencils, FakeUnitedStates and FakeChina have agreed to engage in a series of playdates to strengthen their bond, including finger painting, co-writing strongly-worded letters, and maintaining a joint Twitter account.
Only time will tell if this new friendship will stand the test of time, but one thing is for sure: two world superpowers are better than one. And with that, both nations merrily chanted, “BFFs 4 Life.”
