Exclusive: Spatify’s New Homescreen Features More Vertical Scrolling Than Ever Before!
If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “Man, I sure wish I could scroll down more on my Spotify app,” then you’re in luck! Because Spatify, the new music streaming service that only plays songs with spitting sounds, has just unveiled their redesigned homescreen with more vertical scrolling than ever before!
“We’ve spent months studying what our users want,” said Spatify CEO, Mumble McRap. “And we found out that the one thing everyone wants is to scroll down more. So, we decided to give them what they want!”
But that’s not all! Spatify’s new homescreen is also visually rich, featuring live video feeds of people spitting all over the place! “We’ve teamed up with the world’s top hockers and loogiers to bring you the most entertaining and visually stunning feed you’ve ever seen,” boasted McRap.
Gone are the days of boring album covers and plain text descriptions. Now, you can watch someone spit on the sidewalk while listening to your favorite tunes. It’s a multi-sensory experience like no other!
The reaction from users has been mixed. “I don’t know if I want to watch people spit while I’m trying to enjoy my music,” said one user. “But at least I can scroll down more now, I guess.”
At press time, Spatify is working on their next big update, which will feature a live feed of people blowing their noses to the beat. Can’t wait!
