In a press statement released today, Fancypants Inc. announced that they were expecting a “moderate to significant” increase in revenue this year, as they try to recoup losses from their wild office party that cost them €3.2 billion in damages.
“Look, things got a little out of hand at the party,” said Jimbo McFluggy, the CEO of Fancypants. “We had lights, we had music, we had fire-breathing acrobats… it was a real rager. But unfortunately, things got a little too wild and we had to pay the piper.”
Despite the massive loss, Fancypants insists that they’re on solid ground and that this year will be a banner year for the company. In fact, they’re already planning their next office party.
“We’re not going to let one little setback dampen our spirits,” said McFluggy. “And this next party is going to be even bigger and better than the last one. We’re talking about a Ferris wheel, a petting zoo, and maybe even a hot air balloon. The sky’s the limit!”
Whether Fancypants can actually deliver on their promises remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: their office parties are not to be missed. As long as you bring your own fire extinguisher.
