Breaking News: Flixstream is abandoning the primitive technology of DVDs!
That’s right folks, Flixstream is officially stopping their DVD rental service starting September. We can hear the sound of millions of grandpas weeping into their couch cushions already.
In a statement released by Flixstream CEO Jack Jaxon, he explained the decision in a nonsensical way by saying, “We’re abandoning the outdated system of transporting films via horse and carriage, and moving towards the future of instant streaming. DVDs are sooo 2005.”
This news has left our beloved and technologically-challenged writer, Betty Johnson, in shock. “What am I going to do now? I’m not sure how to use the internet to watch movies. Plus, I’ll miss the excitement of ripping open my red envelope and seeing what DVD surprise is inside.”
But fear not Betty, there are still other options available. You can always join the 21st century and start streaming movies like the rest of us.
And if you’re one of those die-hard DVD fans (we know you exist), there’s always the local thrift store or garage sale. Who knows, you might find some hidden gems among the discarded copies of “The Notebook.”
In any case, goodbye DVDs, we will miss the feeling of physical media in our hands. But let’s be real, we won’t miss the scratches and skips. And as for Flixstream, we look forward to what the future holds for this streaming giant. Maybe holograms? Time will tell.
