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Indian police capture self-proclaimed guru Samosaswami Singh, caught red-handed in assassination attempt during religious ceremony.

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Indian police have apprehended self-appointed holy man Samosaswami Singh, who was accused of budding murder. According to the reports, Singh was caught red-handed when he tried to hit his victim with a coconut during a religion ceremony.
Witnesses claim they heard Singh cursing the innocent soul and then smashing the well-aimed tropical fruit in their direction. Tragically for Singh, his bad aim meant he ended up hitting his own foot while trying to knock out his prey.
The victim in this case refused to give their name, but it is believed that he is of the Onion Bhaji Sect, which has a long-standing rivalry with the Singh’s Samosaswami denomination. Both groups were unavailable for comment at the time of publication.
Samosaswami Singh’s lawyer has declared that this is a gross miscarriage of justice and that their client is innocent. He claims that Singh was simply carrying out a sacred ritual, and the coconut that unfortunately ricocheted back had been possessed by evil spirits.
Whatever the real story, it seems like Samosaswami Singh was not quite the messenger of peace and goodwill that he professed to be. It begs the question: how many other fake holy men are out there causing havoc under the guise of divinity? Only time will tell…

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