In a shocking revelation, online gamers have been reportedly using classified military documents to settle arguments over who has the cooler military hardware. Sources say that this disturbing trend started after a particularly heated argument on “Call of Duty: Warzone” between Bob and Joe about whose tank was stronger.
Apparently, Bob dug deep into his family archives and found a CIA file on a top-secret military tank that was only tested once in the ’80s. Joe, not to be outdone, decided to up the ante by posting a classified Russian military document that he found on the dark web.
The situation escalated further when both players started threatening each other with the possibility of posting even more classified documents, including a blueprint for a nuclear missile launcher and the recipe for KFC’s secret sauce.
The authorities have been alerted, but they seem to be a bit confused by the whole thing. “We’re not sure how to handle this,” said a spokesperson for the Department of Defense. “On the one hand, we’re glad that people are taking an interest in military hardware, but on the other hand, we really don’t want them posting classified documents online.”
Bob and Joe have both been banned from “Call of Duty: Warzone” and are currently being investigated by the FBI. It remains to be seen what punishment they will face, but one thing is for sure – they’ll have plenty of time to brush up on their military knowledge in prison.
